I'm going to tell you things about me, now. Even though no one reads this (as far as I know).

So, here's my first story about myself. Next blog, expect something less heavy, hopefully.

First of all, I'm somewhat but not really seeing someone. I say this in that, we're supposedly not exclusive, even though it seems like we are, anyway. We're your modern day Phil and Gladys, with the bowling league t-shirts and the bickering and the rest of that great jazz. Neither of us really talk about it too much, but I think we both realize, now, that a relationship like ours IS, in fact, really difficult to come by.

We first met in sixth grade, even though he doesn't remember me from then. We completely lost track of each other in seventh, and then we ended up in the same PE class in eighth. I didn't have time to think too much about guys, and he was with another girl, anyway, so nothing happened there, although he mentioned later having a small crush on me then, too.

I invited him to my summer party.

After that, we lost communication because he went to a different school than me. Though, we didn't lose communication for long.

First, he called me. I don't know why. I remember I listened to the voice message on the way to school, one morning, and smiled. It was so out of the blue that I was taken aback, but I remember establishing contact after that some more. Then we started IMing. Things grew naturally, and by the time February or March came around, I'd fully established the crush.

He asked me to be his girlfriend in April, and that lasted until June, when I broke it off. Neither of us fully grasp the concept of why, but the way I usually see it is me being depressed after the winter Seasonal Affective Disorder and not coming back to my normal self yet.

We broke up on June 1. I cried pretty badly. And continued to have knots in my throat for a week.

Thinking it was okay, we got back together, but then I almost immediately broke it off again.

Which was stupid.

Then came the months of fighting. He...I mean, he didn't hate me, I don't think. Not with everything he's got, at least. He's a passionate guy, so I know he could have done better than that, if he was really centered around the dread connected to my existence.

Things were ruined for a long time. It didn't help that I'd gotten into a relationship with a guy I'd met over the summer. There were a lot of times when we threw in the towel to being even friends.

But then out of nowhere it stopped being like that. He invited me out of nowhere (if I remember correctly--I blocked most of this time out) to his birthday party, and I actually had a good time, and remembered why I'd liked him in the first place. Things grew from there, and I decided it would be best to break it off with my current boyfriend, since I wasn't willing to think about another guy while still in a commitment.

My boyfriend at the time prolonged this. I can't blame him; he was afraid of letting go.

But when you want to break up with someone, you find a way.

This was in April, when I first brought it up.

We broke up in June. Good grief.

And just a week or two before that, he (the one I'm now "seeing") found out I liked him from someone I somewhat know. This was a mistake. He told me he was trying to NOT like girls.

I cried. Probably more than when I broke up with my boyfriend from then.

And THEN he told me that he doesn't *not* like me. It did little to help, but I was willing to be persistent, after that. So we talked. And we hung out, and we started to get used to each other again. It's terrible in its familiarity, but I think the two years made a lot of difference. It's not like dating the same guy I was with in ninth grade; it's like seeing someone completely different in almost every aspect.

And so now here we are. We know how to "handle" each other in most situations. We talk every single night ON THE PHONE (not IM, that would merit another few hours every day, if you're looking to tally up the time), and I guess that's helped us understand each other so much better, because now we do that ugly, horrible cute-couple thing where we finish sentences and, even worse, finish thoughts and (even worse than that, gosh) predict each other's exact words and say them out loud or on IM at the same time.

It's not even once in a while, either. It's...pretty often.

I don't know how I can explain it better. I just thought I'd tell you about him because he tells people about me pretty often, he says.

It just seems like it took a lot to overcome all of what we've been through, and it still worked. That looks like a good sign to me. :)

Bring on the matching t-shirts.